Description

ALPHA BETA SMEGMA

For guys who read ingredient lists ironically. ALPHA BETA SMEGMA contains what your body needs, explained in ways you’ll ignore.

Lower the bar. Take the vitamin. You’re not getting better, but at least you’re supplemented. That’s something. Probably.

The Boring Part (Skip If Alpha)

• 60 vegetable capsules (vegetables doing the heavy lifting)
• FDA-registered USA production (paperwork = legitimacy)
• GMP-certified facilities (Gerald’s Man Protocols, probably)
• Third-party lab tested — results came back “aggressively normal”
• Non-GMO, Corn-free, Lactose-free — the capsule respects your diet, even if you don’t

Ingredients

Vitamin A (as Beta-Carotene), Vitamin C (as Ascorbic Acid), Gym Bro Essence, Calcium (as Calcium Carbonate), Vitamin D (as Cholecalciferol), Vitamin E (as DL-Alpha Tocopherol Acetate), Beard Growth Wishfulness, Vitamin B1 (as Thiamine Mononitrate), Vitamin B2 (as Riboflavin), Vitamin B3 (as Niacin), Vitamin B6 (as Pyridoxine HCI), Folate (400 mcg Folic Acid), Vitamin B12 (as Cyanocobalamin), Biotin, Power Tool Proficiency, Vitamin B5 (as D-Calcium Pantothenate), Magnesium (as Magnesium Oxide), Zinc (as Zinc Oxide) (gym bros love it), Selenium (as Selenium Amino Acid Chelate), Copper (as Copper Gluconate), Manganese (as Manganese Amino Acid Chelate), Chromium (as Chromium Picolinate), Molybdenum, Alpha Male Delusion, Lutein, Lycopene (Lycopersicum esculentum)(fruit), Stinging Nettle Extract (Urtica dioica)(root), Saw Palmetto (Serenoa repens)(fruit) (wink), Emotional Unavailability Support, Green Tea Extract (Camellia sinensis)(leaf), Hawthorn Berries (Crataegus pinnatifida), Cinnamon Bark Extract (Cinnamomum cassia), Bilberry Fruit Extract (Vaccinium myrtillus), Grape Seed Extract (Vitis vinifera L.), Black Currant Fruit Extract (Ribes nigrum), Pomegranate Fruit Extract (Punica granatum), Dad Joke Generator, Echinacea Extract (Echinacea purpurea)(aerial), Beta Glucan (Saccharomyces cerevisiae), Spirulina (Arthrospira platensis)(whole plant), Garlic (Allium sativum)(bulb) (Italian approved). Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Rice Flour, Magnesium Stearate, Silicon Dioxide, Suppressed Emotions.

May cause temporary feelings of regret, wonder, or both simultaneously.

Size Guide

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.