Description

GERALD STILL SQUATS AT 76

Witnesses at the Fondlewrap residence confirm that on Tuesday afternoon, Gerald descended to a full unassisted bodyweight squat and returned to standing, five consecutive times, without audible knee event. The postman, present at scene, described the knees as ‘quiet, almost suspicious.’

Researchers attribute the longevity in part to a sustained daily curcumin protocol (95% curcuminoids) with BioPerine ® for absorption — applied without interruption since the late 1980s.

The Fine Print (You Won’t Read This)

• 60 capsules of Gerald-tier knee preservation
• Capsuled in the USA (curcumin sourced globally, defiance domestically)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities
• Third-party laboratory tested
• Non-GMO, Vegan-friendly, Inflammation-intolerant

Ingredients

Organic Turmeric (Curcuma Longa, root), Turmeric 95% Curcuminoids, BioPerine ® (Black Pepper Fruit Extract for bioavailability), Postman-Present-At-Scene Substrate, Unassisted-Bodyweight Endurance Reserve, Quiet-Almost-Suspicious Knee Cofactor, Late-1980s-Continuous Compliance Factor. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Rice Flour, Magnesium Stearate, Silicon Dioxide.

Gerald does not endorse the squats. He just performs them. We supply the chemistry.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.