Description

BLOAT EVICTION NOTICE

Dear bloat: you have been occupying the abdominal cavity without a documented purpose and contrary to the jeans’ stated dimensions. We have, after consultation with the owner, opted to formally challenge your tenancy. The replacement, biochemically, is fibre and prebiotic.

Bloat Eviction Notice supplies Acai Berry extract for antioxidant function and the cleanse blend (Psyllium, Inulin, Aloe Ferox, Chlorella, Slippery Elm) for the fiber-led displacement mechanism. Daily intake; gradual effect; jeans-compatibility usually returns inside two to four weeks.

The Fine Print (You Won’t Read This)

• 60 capsules of abdominal-tenancy formal challenge
• Capsuled in the USA (berries sourced Amazonian, dignity locally optional)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities
• Third-party laboratory tested
• Non-GMO, Vegan-friendly, Routine-honest

Ingredients

Acai Berry Fruit Extract (Euterpe oleracea), Psyllium Powder, Inulin (prebiotic fiber), Slippery Elm Bark, Aloe Ferox Powder 18%, Chlorella, Black Walnut Hulls Powder, Ginger Root, Hyssop Leaf, Papaya Fruit Powder, Lycopene 5%, Abdominal-Cavity Tenancy Substrate, Jeans-Dimension Compliance Cofactor, Fibre-Replacement Reagent, Two-To-Four-Week Endurance Factor. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Rice Flour, Magnesium Stearate, Silicon Dioxide.

Bloat is encouraged to seek other accommodation. We have lined up the new resident.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.