Description
ARTISANAL SMEG MA
Small batch. Hand-curated. Fermented for 14 months in conditions that would make a health inspector weep. This shirt represents everything artisanal should be: pretentious, overpriced, and deeply unsettling.
Wear it to farmers markets. Wear it to job interviews. Wear it to court. The possibilities are endless. The social consequences are real.
The Boring (But Accurate) Details
- 100% cotton Gildan 5000 (5.3 oz/yd² of wearable regret)
- Tear-away label because scratchy tags are for quitters
- Runs true to size — unlike our business model
- Ethically sourced cotton, questionably sourced humor
Every stench tells a story. This one’s a tragedy.
Size Guide
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 |
| Sleeve length (from center back), in | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 | 23.70 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
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