Description

14 MONTHS UNWASHED, NEVER FELT BETTER

In 1969, Gerald P. Fondlewrap had not bathed in fourteen months when
he discovered the P.P. Foraeskinatta culture. He was also, by all
accounts, in an unusually serene mood throughout that period. We’ve
long suspected the magnesium was a factor. The smell was definitely
not the factor.

Magnesium glycinate stabilizes mood by supporting GABA and
serotonin pathways. It is not a substitute for showering. It is,
however, a chemically defensible reason to be in a good mood even
when you skipped one.

The Fine Print (You Won’t Read This)

• 60 capsules of mood-over-hygiene science
• Capsuled in the USA (globally sourced, neglect-tolerant)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities (cleaner than Gerald’s 1969 living conditions)
• Third-party tested — the technicians declined to comment on the brand history
• Non-GMO, Vegan-friendly, Personal-grooming-agnostic

Ingredients

Magnesium Glycinate (the mood foundation), GABA Receptor
Modulator, Serotonin Substrate, Foraeskinatta-Era Composure Reserve,
Goblin-Mode Stabilizer, Long-Hiatus Personal-Care Detente, Bioavailable
Wellbeing Complex. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule),
Microcrystalline Cellulose, Magnesium Stearate, Unwashed Confidence.

Mood gains do not require hygiene losses. They just don’t
preclude them either.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.