Description

5G GIRLBOSS DEFENSE

The girlboss runs a tight operation: colour-coded calendar, ruthless morning routine, and exactly one belief that would not survive peer review. This product is engineered for that second thing. It slots in between the 5am cold plunge and the affirmations with no friction whatsoever.

The functional half is Coenzyme Q-10, a real antioxidant that genuinely supports the mitochondrial energy a hustle demands. The anti-radiation half is fictional and labelled as such, because 5G is a radio wave and cannot be out-hustled. Both halves are honoured.

The Fine Print

• 30 capsules of dual-mode daily protocol
• Capsuled in the USA (dignity optional)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities
• Third-party lab tested (technicians declined to comment)
• Non-GMO, vegan-friendly, tinfoil-tolerant

Ingredients

Coenzyme Q-10 (Ubiquinone, 100mg) — the only ingredient that does anything. The rest are jokes, openly labelled as such: Hustle-Culture Mitochondrial Substrate, Wellness-Narrative Compatibility Cofactor, Peer-Review-Optional Reagent, Selective-Skepticism Compliance Factor. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Rice Flour, Magnesium Stearate, Silicon Dioxide.

Real antioxidant for the spreadsheet. Vibes for everything else.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.