Description

CORTISOL EVICTION NOTICE

This is a formal notice. Your cortisol levels have been operating without a valid lease for years now. As of the moment you swallow these capsules, you have 30–60 days to vacate the premises (your nervous system). Failure to comply will result in continued adaptogenic action and possible inner peace.

Ashwagandha root handles the de-escalation. Black Pepper Fruit Extract makes sure it actually shows up to work. Together they form a small but effective cortisol HOA.

The Fine Print (You Won’t Read This)

• 60 capsules of nervous-system rent control
• Capsuled in the USA (globally sourced, locally exhaled)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities (calmer than your group chat)
• Third-party tested — the technicians left in noticeably better moods
• Non-GMO, Vegan-friendly, Hostile to your panic

Ingredients

Ashwagandha Root Extract (Withania somnifera)(root) (the calm one), Cortisol Negotiator, Black Pepper Fruit Extract (Piper nigrum)(BioPerine®)(fruit) (so the calm one actually shows up), Stress Tolerance Booster, Adaptive Indifference Complex, Emotional Repossession Agent, Suppressed Panic Attacks. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Microcrystalline Cellulose, Magnesium Stearate, Adjourned Therapy Sessions.

Will not eliminate your problems. Will adjust your relationship with them. Legally, that’s basically the same thing.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.