Description

THE BEER-SHIT PREVENTION ACT

Whereas the combination of beer at volume and food choices made under the influence of beer at volume has been shown, across multiple jurisdictions, to produce a stool event of characteristic urgency, consistency, and offensive odour; and whereas the existing regulatory framework has been silent on the matter; we enact, by executive memorandum, the following biochemical response.

The Beer-Shit Prevention Act supplies Psyllium husk and Inulin for fiber-based stool stabilisation, Aloe Ferox and Slippery Elm for mucosal gut support, and Acai Berry extract for antioxidant coverage. Daily intake; cumulative effect.

The Fine Print (You Won’t Read This)

• 60 capsules of legislative stool stability protocol
• Capsuled in the USA (berries sourced Amazonian, dignity locally optional)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities
• Third-party laboratory tested
• Non-GMO, Vegan-friendly, Routine-honest

Ingredients

Acai Berry Extract (Euterpe oleracea, standardized), Psyllium Husk Powder, Inulin, Slippery Elm Bark, Chlorella, Ginger Root, Aloe Ferox 18%, Hyssop Leaf, Papaya Powder, Lycopene 5%, Executive-Memorandum Substrate, Urgency-Mitigation Cofactor, Beer-Volume Compatibility Reagent, Consistency-Stability Compliance Factor. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Rice Flour, Magnesium Stearate, Silicon Dioxide.

The Act does not legislate the beer. It legislates the morning after.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.