Description

THE BLUETOOTH DETOX

Bluetooth is a milliwatt whisper in the 2.4 GHz band, engineered to move a podcast twelve inches from your phone to your ear. Documented biological effect: none. Wellness-industry framing: you are marinating in it. We built this for the gap between those two positions.

It treats the concern, not the wave. Coenzyme Q-10 does the real antioxidant work; the Bluetooth-specific substrates are fictional and labelled fictional, and address the anxiety exclusively. Your earbuds keep working throughout.

The Fine Print

• 30 capsules of anxiety-targeted antioxidant
• Capsuled in the USA (dignity optional)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities
• Third-party lab tested (technicians declined to comment)
• Non-GMO, vegan-friendly, tinfoil-tolerant

Ingredients

Coenzyme Q-10 (Ubiquinone, 100mg) — the only ingredient that does anything. The rest are jokes, openly labelled as such: 2.4-GHz Aspirational Substrate, Milliwatt-Concern Coverage Cofactor, Personal-Area-Network Detox Reagent, Anxiety-Register Compliance Factor. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Rice Flour, Magnesium Stearate, Silicon Dioxide.

The earbuds are fine. The mitochondria are nourished. The vibes tick upward.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.