Description

THE ORGONITE PILL (CAPSULE EDITION)

Orgonite, per a thousand Etsy listings, is resin poured over metal shavings and a quartz crystal, sold to convert bad energy into good energy — a concept Wilhelm Reich invented in the 1930s and physics has politely declined ever since. We admired the business model and removed the resin.

What remains is Coenzyme Q-10, a real antioxidant, in a capsule containing no quartz, no metal, and no orgone. The market positioning, however, is preserved in full. The fictional ingredients below are labelled fictional, which is more than Etsy usually manages.

The Fine Print

• 30 capsules of Etsy-equivalent antioxidant
• Capsuled in the USA (dignity optional)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities
• Third-party lab tested (technicians declined to comment)
• Non-GMO, vegan-friendly, tinfoil-tolerant

Ingredients

Coenzyme Q-10 (Ubiquinone, 100mg) — the only ingredient that does anything. The rest are jokes, openly labelled as such: Wilhelm-Reich-Era Substrate, Resin-Embedded-Quartz Aspirational Cofactor, Orgone-Energy Pseudo-Reagent, Etsy-Functional-Equivalence Factor. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Rice Flour, Magnesium Stearate, Silicon Dioxide.

Same conceptual market. Dramatically better shipping costs.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.