Description

THE SMART METER COPE PILL

The utility company bolted a smart meter to your house without holding a vote, and now it phones home every fifteen minutes with a full account of your kilowatt-hours. Electrically, it is the most boring object on the property. Symbolically, it is a small grey informant you never agreed to house.

This capsule does not switch it off — nothing you swallow can. It offers Coenzyme Q-10, a real antioxidant, and a set of fictional, clearly-labelled counter-surveillance substrates aimed squarely at the symbolic part. The meter keeps pinging. You cope slightly better.

The Fine Print

• 30 capsules of symbolic-surveillance reserve
• Capsuled in the USA (dignity optional)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities
• Third-party lab tested (technicians declined to comment)
• Non-GMO, vegan-friendly, tinfoil-tolerant

Ingredients

Coenzyme Q-10 (Ubiquinone, 100mg) — the only ingredient that does anything. The rest are jokes, openly labelled as such: Symbolic-Surveillance Substrate, Household-Consent Acknowledgement Cofactor, Fifteen-Minute-Ping Aspirational Reagent, Utility-Company Apology Reserve. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Rice Flour, Magnesium Stearate, Silicon Dioxide.

The meter pings. The capsule shrugs. Both were technically optional.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.