Description

THE TOWER FENG SHUI BLEND

Classical feng shui did not anticipate cellular infrastructure, but modern practitioners adapt, and the tower across the street has now been formally reclassified as a Sha Qi generator disrupting the household chi. It is a lot to ask of a couch to fix that alone.

So we help from the inside. Coenzyme Q-10 provides real mitochondrial antioxidant support; the chi-compensating substrates are fictional and labelled fictional. Furniture rearrangement is still recommended, but that part is between you and the couch.

The Fine Print

• 30 capsules of geomantic-grade antioxidant
• Capsuled in the USA (dignity optional)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities
• Third-party lab tested (technicians declined to comment)
• Non-GMO, vegan-friendly, tinfoil-tolerant

Ingredients

Coenzyme Q-10 (Ubiquinone, 100mg) — the only ingredient that does anything. The rest are jokes, openly labelled as such: Sha-Qi Compensation Substrate, Chinese-Geomantic Compatibility Cofactor, Cellular-Telephony Adaptation Reagent, Furniture-Rearrangement Adjacency Factor. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Rice Flour, Magnesium Stearate, Silicon Dioxide.

The capsule handles the chi. The couch is your problem.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.