Description

WIFI SIGNAL JAMMER

Your router broadcasts twenty-four hours a day. It never sleeps, never asks permission, never once considers your feelings. This capsule does absolutely nothing about that — but it does contain 100mg of Coenzyme Q-10, a real antioxidant, which is 100mg more than your tinfoil hat manages.

Legally obligated to mention: it does not jam wifi. Jamming wifi is a federal offence carrying a fine around $112,500, and we are quite attached to our current lifestyle. What you are buying is CoQ10 and a bottle with excellent shelf presence. The jamming is strictly emotional.

The Fine Print

• 30 capsules of federally-compliant antioxidant
• Capsuled in the USA (dignity optional)
• FDA-registered, GMP-certified facilities
• Third-party lab tested (technicians declined to comment)
• Non-GMO, vegan-friendly, tinfoil-tolerant

Ingredients

Coenzyme Q-10 (Ubiquinone, 100mg) — the only ingredient that does anything. The rest are jokes, openly labelled as such: Legal-Compliance Substrate, FCC-Acknowledgement Cofactor, Satirical-Title Disclaimer Reagent, Mitochondrial-Compliance Factor. Other Ingredients: Cellulose (Vegetable Capsule), Rice Flour, Magnesium Stearate, Silicon Dioxide.

The wifi stays up. The mitochondria thrive. The FCC is informed.

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.